Dreams and Wishes

When I write blogs and newsletters I try not to be too ‘emotional’  as I don’t like playing on our families plight just to be sensational. So I try to give balanced views of the good and the bad, the positive and the negative. But this is going to be slightly different and written more from my point of view. For a start I’m writing it at 3.30 in the morning and you will understand why as you read it.

The annual updates about our sponsored children are due this month. Instead of leaving it to the Durian team, I decided I would interview the children myself to get a more direct understanding of what was happening for them. I anticipated this would take a couple of days at least and as there is no suitable accommodation close by I decided I would ‘rough’ and it sleep on the floor at the project instead of travelling an hour each way every day. I slept at the project for two nights and it was quite an experience; swarms of mosquitoes in the toilets rose in a cloud to greet me when I went it, rats the size of small cats (no exaggeration I promise!) running around outside and in the roof above my head whilst I tried to sleep a hard floor. I must admit I felt quite proud of myself for surviving especially when I counted more than 70 mosquito bites just on my arms!

Then I began to talk to the children and was very humbled.
Most of them are doing well health wise; last year we had quite a few who were malnourished, this year we have none. Most of them are doing well with their schooling and are attending both school and our project regularly and most of them are fairly content with their lot in life and extremely grateful for the help they are getting. God is very real to most of them and as they have begun to trust him he has continued helping them turn their lives around.

When I asked them what their highlights of the last year were, they said things like seeing the fireworks at New Year,  having enough money to celebrate birthdays with their families and eat spaghetti (the Filipinos favourite party food) or receiving a blue toy car for Christmas.

DREAMS OF BETTER HOMES ...

A non permanent home in the cemetery

Then I asked them what their wishes were for 2016 many of them just want to do well at school and have a better home. Those who are living in one room or are sharing their tiny shacks with another family would like to have a bit more space or live just with their own family. Those who know that their home isn’t theirs and that they could be evicted at any time or that their home is due to be demolished would love a home that is more permanent. Some just want their family to be together, to be happy and to be healthy. Very simple desires but things they know they can’t take for granted.

I WANT TO BE A POLICEMAN SO I CAN ARREST MY MOTHER ....

Squatter area

However there were 2 families who would love to change more in their lives and it broke my heart to hear how difficult their lives are.

Two young cousins of 12 and 11, a boy and a girl live with their parents, grandmother, cousins and a number of other random people all in a tiny one roomed house. These two children never want to be at home. The parents are both drug addicts and Edward, the boy want to be a policeman when he grows up. His reason for this is because he wants to ‘arrest and put in prison my mother and my uncle because they take drugs, they sell drugs and when they are high they steal things from people.’ His cousin Caroline sees her older cousins (still in their teens) prostitute themselves and is at high risk of being pulled into the same lifestyle herself. The adults ‘rent’ their home to other addicts who use it to take their drugs and pay for the use in drugs. The home has become a gambling den too and Edward has already begun gambling. The home belongs to the grandmother and she is the only one who really cares for them. In the past she has thrown her children out for the safety of the children but they just come back and she is powerless to do anything about it. Edward wants to live just with his grandmother and cousin Caroline but his grandmother who is 67 doesn’t want to leave the house because it hers and because she couldn’t afford to pay rent anywhere else. Social services intervened and took Caroline and one of her cousins into care due to the home situation, but then returned them without any follow up after a month. The children would not be any better off if the social services were involved as they don’t have the resources or the motivation to help. Manila is full of cases like theirs.

WE HAVE TO SLEEP SITTING UP ...

Ben studying to "learn lots of things"

Another young child Ben, lives with his grandparents too. His grandfather is a hard worker and earns his living with a pedicab we helped him buy a number of years ago, but he is getting old and very tired so he can't always work.. The family lost their home recently in the demolition of the squatter area they lived in, so have had to move to new accommodation.
This is what Ben said about his life. … 
“I don’t like where I live because the roof has a lot of holes in it and if it rains we can’t sleep laying down but have to sleep in a sitting position. I really want to go to school because I want to learn a lot of things but sometimes it's difficult because I have no food to eat in school.”  
Sometimes the only food Ben gets is the meal at the Durian Centre, especially if his grandfather is sick and cannot work to buy food.

CAN YOU HELP...?

As I write this blog I’m sitting in my house, which I don't have to share with anyone. I'm sat in my own bedroom, on my own double bed, with not just a good roof with no holes, but also a ceiling fan to keep me cool.  It is hard to experience such a difference in life styles knowing it wouldn’t take much of what you and I have to help these children. 

The Durian Project has a policy of not giving money to families, but of helping the children directly with food and education and encouraging the parents to help themselves and not live on hand outs. But in both of the cases I've written about the carers for the children are grandparents, and haven’t the strength anymore to provide as they would want and so as a team we feel our response should be different. For around £30 per month per family we could help them find a better place to live and care for their grandchildren. If you think you can help with regular support towards this please contact me. gilliansaunders2@msn.com

Thanks Gillian